Wednesday, December 16, 2009

December 16th, 2009 by

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TNA iMPACT! Zone Universal Studios Orlando

This is your loyal blind scribe,
with today’s recap.
Enjoy, Lawrence

Segment 1 – TNA Impact passes

Bubba started off by saying that the bumper music was provided by
Brent, he went on to tell Ned that he talked with Mike from Mike’s
Pizza yesterday, he’s going to make the Meaty Mandingo, Spice thinks
the employees should ask you if you’d like man sauce. Bubba recapped
some sports scores, he plugged TNA Impact in Orlando, he said that
doors open at seven, bell time is at eight, Spice thinks it’s a first
come first serve basis, Bubba said the pass gives you access to meet
him and some wrestlers, Spice said he’d like to do this. Brent said
that Twenty-five will be at the Dunkin Donuts in Orlando tomorrow.
Spice remembers the first night Hogan invaded WCW, he said it was
amazing. Bubba said he got Manson and Donna a his and her massage, he
said he looks forward to that. Spice said he had one once, he couldn’t
get comfortable. Bubba said he’s going to wwe this Monday, he said he
has friends there, as well as at tna; they then went to commercials a
few seconds later.

Segment 2 – Birthdays, emails, Steve Chapman calls in

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the live
chat with Big dick and Jabber jaw later tonight. Bubba said that today
is Wednesday McDonalds; he said you can’t beat their offer of $0.49
hamburgers and $0.69 cheeseburgers, he went on to plug the TNA Impact
event, he thinks Tyler will be with him. Mr. Evil in Dayton said his
name is just a nickname, he saw Jackle, he said the opening act said
that he was on Bubba’s show, he then said some local Dayton guy said
he was tired of Bubba, Bubba said he could care less. Bubba went over
some birthdays, he said today is a sucky day, we then heard some Flow
Ridda, today he’s 30. Spice said he heard an interview with him on
Howard’s show, he thinks it was a cool interview; he used to pick the
silverware out of the trash. We then heard some ZZ Top, Ned is shocked
one of the guys in the group is 60; the guys think he looks 60. Bubba
accidently played B-Fudd’s bumper, he thinks BJ doesn’t have one, BJ
thinks that January 4 will be awesome, he went on to say that Kevin
Nash said history will be made. Bubba said he was hanging out with
Hogan a few days ago, his phone was ringing nonstop with calls from
the guys looking for work, BJ said he’s in a mark lather with all
this. Bubba called up Twenty-Five Cent, Twenty-five said he’s had ten
people come by already, he said another guy was pulling up, Bubba
thinks Twenty-Five should tell the people Happy Kwanzaa, he then
described the setup, he said he has a little under a thousand. Bubba
wondered what Spice is doing for New Year’s Eve, he said he’ll give
Tom the Treeman $100 to drive him, Spice is thinking about doing
something like that, Brent said he’ll be in New Orleans, Manson said
he’ll be having a party at his house, Bubba said he’s going to drink
his face off. The first email of the day had a picture of a Bubba Army
sticker on the back of a cop’s car. Another emailer explained the
various names for women, Bubba thinks its crap. Another emailer said
B-Fudd should be the pr guy. Another emailer thinks one of the callers
didn’t understand what Bubba was saying, Spice said he appreciated not
getting presents for Christmas, Bubba said he’d like to hook the guy
up. Another emailer asked how long the line for Toys for Tatas would
be, Bubba said about 15-20 minutes max. Another emailer said they’ll
be in Tampa, he asked Bubba for something fun to do. Another emailer
asked about CDS for the songs, Bubba thinks she missed out on the best
deal ever, he thinks they have about 250 “The Clemulus Packages” left.
The last email of the day thanked Bubba for his show. Bubba went to a
guy named Steve Chapman; Bubba wondered if it was the real guy, Steve
said this was him. Bubba thinks Tiger should get in front of the bus
and disarm everyone; Steve said people have suggested that to him
before, he said he prays for him every day. Bubba recapped his idea of
Tiger’s nbc special, Steve said it’s a good idea; he wants to see him
play Golf again. Spice sarcastically thanked Steve for getting his
girlfriend hooked on a magazine. Bubba said Steve was the main guy who
helped out Hogan through his bad times; they then went to commercials
a few seconds later.

Segment 3 – Various news clips

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the “Manson and Brent
Free Thinking Comedy Show”. Bubba said he’s already promoting the
event, he thinks it should be “I Hate God, Pot Is Cool”. Bubba plugged
the not so secret Santa; he thinks Tyler beat Manson with football
picks. Wayne in Orlando said Twenty-five is selling the passes like
donuts. Bubba went on to plug Toys for Tatas, he gave a rundown as to
who will be there, Brent said Noel Biderman, the founder of Ashley
Madison can’t make it. We then heard a news clip about the black guy
who has been locked up for 35 years, Spice thinks it’s a boops story,
we then heard “The Boopity song” from “Bubba Show Classics Vol. 11”,
track 23. Bubba thinks the guy being a jail for 35 years is horrible.
Mike said he’s a big fan, he said he’ll be going to Toys for Tatas. We
then heard a news clip about a guy who raped a prostitute, the guys
goofed on the suspect’s last name; they think the guy’s parents were
high on meth when naming him. Bubba read an article about a guy who
was locked up for 28 years, he was convicted of a crime he didn’t
commit, Manson said he’d rather be in jail for three days, rather than
three days on a bus. We then heard a news clip about two teachers who
were having a lesbian affair, Bubba wishes he could be the guy to find
that stuff, Manson thinks some of that stuff happened, Bubba had a
tough time figuring out what the guy was saying, the guys think the
janitor is a nark. Brian in Orlando said he was just on Lex and
Terry’s show, Bubba said you can get on his show, he said you won’t be
able to do that on other shows. Brian said he was on the show, he
mentioned the BJ Penn fight, they said that BJ Penn beat GSP, they
told him that it was the other way around. Bubba wonders why the guy
was listening to Lex and Terry, Spice said they’re not being
realistic. Tony said when he was growing up, he had a teacher who
would pick him up, she would end up doing everything, Bubba told him
to be careful with what he said, the guy said that this happened in
New Jersey, the guy ended up having sex with her, he said it was a
one-time event, Manson thinks the guy is practice for a letter to
Penthouse. Bubba checked on Twenty-five, Twenty-five said it’s pretty
busy, they have about fifteen cars showing up; he said some cops were
also showing up. We then heard a news clip about a guy who raped a 91
year-old woman, Bubba wonders how you can do that, he thinks he
mentally rapes people, Ned told Bubba to look at how Sluggo is
dressed. Spice said that if you’re last name is Weiner, it’s not a
good idea; the guys were cracking up with the name. Bubba wonders what
our world is coming to, we then heard a news clip about a guy in a
Santa suit trying to kidnap a twelve year-old girl. Nick in Orlando
wondered if Bubba can hold on to some tickets, Bubba said he’ll send
the guy some tickets. They then went to commercials a few seconds

Segment 4 – Springsteen Rags the BRN 2009

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the upcoming “Ned’s 12
Inch Meaty Mandingo”. Bubba thinks Ned is serious about the sandwich,
Spice thinks it’s one of the grossest commercials ever, Bubba thinks
Mike is regretting that. Bubba said he got some emails from people
about the latest Springsteen bit, Spice explained it to the audience,
Manson said he was reading something for Carl. Bubba said this will be
the last time he plays it, he thinks it will be played on Friday, we
then heard the bit. The cast for this year included:

1. Pantera – Told to freak out under the missal toe
2. Jabberjaw – compared Bubba and MJ, saying that Bubba isn’t short
3. Spice – T-shirts for his step son
4. Al-kida – Asked for a new gimmick, but was denied
5. Ned – had a big list of stuff, he then told everyone he’s not gay
6. Blind Lawrence – ended up touching Ned’s penis twice, he was denied
the chance to get his sight back
7. Sluggo – Got a webmaster’s license, but then got it revoked
8. Russ – groped his man boobs
9. Bubba – Got a billion dollar check to stop talking about chicken dip
10. Tom Bean – Beat up Santa for having his elves mess with his stuff
11. Dave Rice – Got the Ned wha treatment
12. Twenty-Five Cent – Fired for saying the n word
13. Big Dick – Sang “Put On A Happy Face” with Manson
14. Hammil – got nothing
15. Brent – Threw a trashcan at Santa
16. Miller – Talked smacked to Santa
17. Carl Harris – cursed out Santa
18. Manson – had a booth for those who wanted to suck his dick

They then went to commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 5 – Twenty-five Cent update

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the
dollar preview. Bubba thinks GM paid a lot of the bailout money back,
Brent said he’s going to buy a car from Rob Elder, Manson thinks the
car looks nice. We then heard a clip about Tiger Woods, his doctor is
in trouble for drugs, some moving trucks were outside of Tiger’s
house, Spice thinks one of the movers is listening to the show, Bubba
thinks that they should just open up growth. Dan in Ft. Meyers said
that he’s excited over the Manson and Brent appearance, Bubba thinks
it will sell out in a matter of minutes. We then heard a news clip
about a picture of tiger with his wife, Bubba thinks tiger comes
across as a prick. Bubba called Twenty-Five Cent for an update, he
thinks Twenty-five is having a party, various people were yelling in
the background. Bubba asked how Gale is; Twenty-five said he’s busy
with stuff. Twenty-five said he drove to Orlando at four this morning.
Bubba thinks he might’ve met one of the people there, Angey said she
met Bubba at Rachel’s, she said she likes black men, Bubba thinks
she’s giving a radio answer, he thinks she’s patronizing him, Spice
and Manson goofed on her voice, she then said she wouldn’t have sex
with Twenty-five, she said he’s too short. Bubba thanked her for
coming out, Spice thinks she’s cute. We then heard Manson’s “Bailout
Money” from “Bubba’s new and Misc Hits Vol. 8” track 1, and “the
Clemulus Package” disc 2, track 15. They then went to commercials a
few seconds later.

Segment 6 – Denzel calls in, BRN Gift Exchange

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for “toys For Tatas”.
Bubba thinks Denzel is coming to town today; the guys goofed on
Denzel’s voice a little. Bubba called him, Denzel said he’s not on his
way to the airport yet, he said his flight leaves at 11:30, he said he
got rid of his dogs. Bubba told Denzel that the hatch act is a joke,
he told Denzel about Ned’s new sandwich, he then played the bumper
about that, all Denzel said was wow, Spice said they’re getting some
tomorrow, Bubba doubts that Denzel is a vegetarian. Denzel said he
hasn’t released all the information, he said once the situation
changes, he’ll be unhatched, Bubba thinks he’s quitting. Bubba said
that Denzel is the best houseguest ever; he said he’s really good
about cleaning up. Bubba wanted to do the Secret Santa, he thinks Carl
is slacking. Bubba thinks Miller is foolish for wanting to go to
Panama, Miller said the woman who owned his parents condo down there
refused to move, he said it’s illegal to evict people in December down
there, Bubba said the grass isn’t all that greener, Spice thinks he
came back smelling like roses. Bubba asked Spice how many times he had
sex with Akira, Spice said he’s like Christopher Columbus with her.
Carl said that was his bad with not making a bumper for that. Big dick
said he was exchanging gifts with Miller, Miller got a four pack of
pbr, and a moonshine Miller hat, on the side it says “I make grone men
cry”. Big Dick got a book, he ended up throwing it, Bubba chided him
for doing that. Carl said he had Spice, Spice got seven and a half
pounds of beans, he wondered what he should do with that, Carl said
it’s for a frat validation. Spice also got a mirror and a gift
certificate to Strokers, also a DVD of Rick rude, we then heard the
tymbal. Carl got a model airplane, Spice thinks it’s messed up, bubba
is convinced it was a re gift, he wants to see the receipt; Carl said
he spent a lot of time on the DVD. The guys clown Spice for giving
Carl a Nazi plane, Carl said he doesn’t do Nazi stuff, Spice said he
didn’t know. Bubba said that Tom Bean makes him nervous, Hammil said
its $350 worth of lottery tickets, Bubba said he’s taking 90% of them.
Al-kida had Pantera; Spice thinks they’re going to make out. Al-kida
got a picture of him showering with a homeless guy, some baby oil, and
a white tank top, and some wrestling stuff, Spice thinks it’s gay.
Pantera got a certificate to EBay for $25. Russ and ned were up next,
Russ got a DVD of Queen, Ned said it’s a great show. Ned got some door
hangers, he can’t say what some of them were, he thinks it’s a bag of
goodies, he thinks the E cigarette is stupid. Dave Rice and Nick were
up next, Dave got a gift card to Sport’s authority, Spice celebrated
that he won a dollar with his scratch off. Nick got a picture that was
from the Ferret, Bubba thinks they should offer them on
Spice said jabber Jaw and James were supposed to exchange, he said he
could care less what sluggo and James gave each other; he said one of
them won’t make it. Next up were Bubba and Jabber Jaw, Bubba got some
chicken dip. Tom Bean came in, he said he never listens to the show;
the guys went nuts when Tom unbuttoned his top button. The guys think
Tom’s shirt is too small, Bubba thinks it would be for Tyler. Jabber
Jaw got a card from the office; the card had tow gift cards, one for
Banana Republic, and an American Express card. Next up were Brent and
Manson, Spice celebrated that he got a ten dollars from a scratch off.
Manson got some “it’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” DVDS, Brent got a
picture of himself on Bubbapalooza. Bubba likes how Spice is getting
skinny; he thanked Jabber Jaw for getting the dip for him. Brent said
he also got a book of Kurt Cobain’s notes, he thinks he’ll figure out
he’s not so bad after all. Bubba thinks Tom wouldn’t care that he re
gifted, he’s interested in seeing who won some stuff, Spice ended up
getting $100. They then went to commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 7 – Spice’s lottery tickets

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the
dollar preview, then into “bubba Neezer Scrooge” from “N.F.C” track
23, “bubba’s Holiday Classics Vol. 1”, track 9, and “Holiday CD” disc
1, track 1. The bit is a spoof of Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas
Carol”, with Bubba as Scrooge, and Spice and Brent as his workers.
Bubba tells them they can go home to spend Christmas with their
families, under the condition that they don’t get paid, adding that
they drop the English accents. Ned plays all three ghosts, sniffing
blow the whole time. In the past, we learn the family can’t stand
Bubba for fing the shop vac. In the present, various BRN members
voice there disgust with Bubba. In the future, Twenty-five Cent is
pissing on Bubba’s grave, showing his disgust for being the token guy
to say . Bubba asks Ned if it’s too late to change, ned said he
has to go take a shit. Bubba wakes up and, after learning its
Christmas day, he hales a taxi to manson’s Christmas party. He wishes
everyone there a merry Christmas, however the celebratory atmosphere
is short lived. After inviting the party goers to go to the Dollhouse
with him, he gets denied, reverting back to his old ways, telling
everyone to f off. He leaves in a huff, only to come back and say
“F tiny Tim Too”, the bit closes with an announcer saying the bit
was brought to you by Levitra, “Help keeping your cock hard for the
holidays”. Bubba asked Spice what he had lottery wise, Spice said he
got a total of $750; Bubba thinks he’s lying, Spice thinks Bubba would
take it. Bubba told Spice he could give all the money to Bean, Spice
said he’s keeping all the money, Bubba told Spice he’s not getting a
paycheck, he said he’ll give some of the money to the people who don’t
get paid, Spice thinks he shouldn’t have said anything. They then went
to commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 8 – bubba’s Christmas gift, Virginia Stiefel and Tasha

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the live
chat with Big dick and Jabber Jaw. We then heard the Price Is right
music; Bubba thinks he caught a f bomb. Bubba thanked Donna for
putting together a scrap book of the people at Bubbapalooza; Manson
said she stayed up until three in the morning three nights in a row.
Bubba likes how Terry massages Manson, he said he loves when she rubs
his feet, he said he listens to Sirius Spa while that goes on. The
guys wonder how Brent is with getting a massage; Brent said Amanda
never massaged him, as she did that all day. Bubba called up Tom Bean,
he told Tom he bought him two paid massages, Tom thanked him for that,
he remembered when they did two shows a day, Dave thinks he’ll steal
Spice’s boombox to pipe in some music. Bubba called Twenty-five; Bubba
thinks angey has a yap on her. Bubba said the phone lines won’t stop
ringing, Twenty-five said he’s running out, Bubba thinks he should go
to Dunkin Donuts. Bubba had Virginia Stiefel in the studio, she said
Jack is doing great, she had some stuff for them, Bubba recapped the
Spice and bubba lottery ticket situation, she sided with Spice on the
issue. Bubba said that the letter of the law is in Spice’s favor, but
the spirit of the letter is in Bubba’s favor. Bubba said he’s getting
$375 out of him, one way or another, Spice said he’ll distribute the
money, Bubba thinks Spice is being a dick for wanting half, Spice said
he was going to buy Christmas presents for his Mom, Bubba told him
he’ll be taking $375, he wants to make sure that the unpaid employees
get some money. Virginia said half sounds well, she said that it was
Spice’s gift, Bubba told her to shut up, adding that it’s not Little
House on the Prarry. Bubba told Spice he was going to give him $375
one way or another, Spice doesn’t’ get how this is a problem, Bubba
wonders why Spice is so stingy. Bubba asked for Tasha’s number, he
said he could fine people, he thinks Tasha is a breath of fresh air
between the two. Tasha came on, she said her son was doing great,
Spice said he was buttering her up. Bubba recapped the situation for
her, Tasha thinks he should give some money to the interns, she thinks
he should’ve done that on his own, Spice said he’d do it, she thinks
he didn’t sound too happy. Bubba pounded the board in celebration,
saying that he loves winning, the guys think Virginia got over ruled,
Bubba labeled her as jack’s wife now, as she went against him, Manson
thinks the interns will be happy with the outcome. The guys got polo
shirts with the Bubba logo, Virginia said she got that done with Doug
from Apparel World. Bubba thanked for that, Virginia said she loved
the chicken dip, Bubba ended up giving a tub of chicken dip to her, he
said fat guys end up being more giving. Bubba said he has the right to
have jack and Virginia accompany them during the bubba Wonka event.
Bubba thinks Hammil got the best gift, Manson thinks Donna had a great
one, he thinks that if Manson dies, he and Donna will live together,
he said it would be a triple whammy, he thinks Spice had the worst
gift ever. Spice thinks Carl likes Germans; Bubba accused him of
giving Carl something anti-Semitic. They then ended the show a few
seconds later.

2 Responses

  1. ron

    Blind Lawrence, you are the man!!! Wasn’t there a mention of something with a downloadable poster?? Anybody else here this? Any info would be appreciated. Bubba Army in Oregon!!

  2. daveisin

    heard something about you guys trying to push spice towards a girl from a contest or something like that and we thaught that spice was engaged and happy with his girlfriend? or did they break up?

    dave and taunya

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