Tuesday, April 13, 2010

April 13th, 2010 by

Top Stories:
Seagal sued for allegedly keeping sex slaves
Sandra Bullock denies sex tape rumours with cheating husband
Collier County deputy shocks colleague with Taser in joke
Lightning fire GM Lawton, coach Tocchet
Roethlisberger will not face assault charge
Kevin Eubanks Leaving The Tonight Show For Good
Missing Nadia Bloom leaves no sign for police searching for her
Tampa teacher Stephanie Ragusa pleads guilty to charges of sex with student
Investigators: Man hid camera to photograph 11 year old girl in her shower

This is your loyal blind scribe,
with today’s recap.
Enjoy, Lawrence

Segment 1 – Sports Scores, Shock Collar Karaoke for Bon Jovey tickets

The show started off with audio of The Rays winning, then into “Heaven
Is A Place On Earth” by Belinda Carlisle as bumper music. Bubba
started off by saying the show must be giving new listeners mixed
signals, from Jimmi Hendrix, to Homeless Hogan, then into the bumper
music, he thinks they look like fags, Ned told him to speak for
himself, Manson thinks she had a chipmunk face. Bubba recapped some
sports scores, he then explained Shock Collar Karaoke for Bon Jovey
tickets, which will be taking place on Thursday, he then said that
Ragusa pled guilty, Spice said it was nice to see something other than
a smile on her face, they then went to commercials a few seconds

Segment 2 – Twenty-five Cent update, emails, Ragusa

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for Guns and Hoses in
Jacksonville this Saturday. Bubba said today’s music was provided by
Jabberjaw, he then said she was interested in a dating game, he then
announced the Scott Haul dating game, Spice wonders if Scott will
throw a toothpick in a girl’s face, he then said Naughty Alysha will
be in around Father’s Day. Twenty-five Cent came in, saying he was
working, Spice said he saw him with X Pock hanging out, Twenty-five
said they were at a new place called “Tru”, Spice said the official
opening hasn’t happened yet, Bubba said that he and Spice will be
going to Venue this Friday, he then said traffic was pretty bad, Spice
said traffic on V makes no sense. Bubba asked Twenty-five who will be
at Venue, the guys cracked up when Twenty-five said “Bad Boy Billy”.
Manson said he could never do bull riding, Bubba wishes bouncers were
honest when Twenty-five gets denied entrance to a club, Spice said he
was once told he was too risky to get into a club. Lewis asked when
will Bubba open up his night club, Bubba said around July. Gator
thinks Bubba didn’t look right in his britches, we then heard “Dueling
Der Ders” as the guy talked. The first email said they can’t wait to
drive 14 hours to Calgary. Another emailer said the next time a Tea
Bagger calls in; remind them that the last time a gun was taken from
citizens was when a Republican was in the Whitehouse. Another emailer
asked if Spice has talked to Aubry lately, the email then had some
stats on his most recent hit, Spice said he loves it up there. Another
emailer said they’re looking for the Caylee Anthony parodies on
iTunes, Bubba told the emailer to go there, Manson said they should be
up by now.

1. “Caylee’s Mom” – “Bubba’s new And Misc Hits Vol. 7”, tracks 1 and 2
2. “My Trunk” – “Bubba’s New and Misc Hits Vol. 9”, track 9
3. “Caylee’s Not In The Cradle” – “bubba Show Classics Vol. 10”, track 5

1. We then heard a news clip about Ragusa, Bubba thinks Spice was so
horrible with Ragusa, that she had to go to younger people, Spice
thinks the text messages were taken the wrong way. Kevin Hayslett was
heard in the news clip, saying how this is a water cooler
conversation, Spice thinks that had Lafave not had makeup on, she
would’ve gone to prison. We then heard “Ragusa’s So Horny” from
“Bubba’s New and Misc Hits Vol. 3”, track 6. They then went to
commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 3 – Twenty-Five Cent Tazzed recap, various news clips

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for Shock Collar Karaoke,
then into “The Sign” by Ace of Base as bumper music, Bubba thinks
Jabberjaw is such a chick, he went on to say that some of the stuff
they do could get someone suspended at a normal job. We then heard a
news clip about a cop who tazzed another cop, Bubba cracked up at the
woman running, Spice thinks anything they do at the show could be a
fireable offence. Bubba then recapped the time when they tazzed
Twenty-five (march 3, 2006), we then heard the sounder a few times, he
thinks that should be a ringtone, he then broke down the part where
the tazer hits skin, he then said that Chuck Liddell and Rich Franklin
will be fighting for UFC 115. We then heard a news clip about a guy
who got arrested for taking pictures of an Eleven year-old while in
the shower, Bubba thinks it’s a horrible day when you can’t even bring
someone in from out of town, the guys cracked up at the camera sound
effect, Bubba thinks Casa is a shakedown, Spice said they’re against
Domestic Violence, he thinks the mission statement doesn’t really tell
you much of anything. Bubba said he’s not against what Casa does, he
thinks she should be the director of common Sense, he then asked Brent
about the Bail Bondsman bill, he thinks it will die, Brent said
everyone is against Bill six. We then heard a news clip about a cop
who shot his wife, then took his own life, Bubba it’s sad that kids
were involved; he then said if you’d like to participate in the Shock
collar Karaoke, call the show. They then went to commercials a few
seconds later.

Note: Twenty-five Cent getting tazzed appears on “Bubba Raw Volume 1”,
and “On The Chip” disc 1, track 16.

Segment 4 – Steven Seagal discussions, various news

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for “Ned’s 12 Inch meaty
Mandingo (with a side of man sauce)”, then into “Walking On Broken
Glass” by Annie Lennox as bumper music. Bubba said he’ll randomly give
tickets to the Calgary and the new Orleans show, he then wonders what
happened to Annie, the guys don’t think Kim Kardashian looks so great
without makeup, he said that Gwen Stefani looks horrible without
makeup, Spice said Christina Aguilera is horrible. Bubba suggested
that if you’re going to be with a woman long term, make sure to see
them without makeup. Bubba said a new Jesse James mistress has come
out, Spice wonders why is the go to person, Brent said she gets a hell
of a payday, he said he was born the wrong sex, he wonders when
Hollywood will hold Hue Heffner to being a creep, Spice said he can’t
look at an 18 year-old anymore. Bubba said that a woman is suing
Steven Seagal over making her a sex slave, he then jokingly said his
actions were valid, as he couldn’t get her name right, he thinks ned
will get all of his movies for the weekend, Spice wonders why he’s
using a gun, he said he heard that when he hosted Saturday Night Live,
he was hated by everyone, he was throwing people through actual brick
walls, as opposed to fake ones. Bubba read an article about a woman’s
boyfriend who killed the step kid, Manson isn’t surprised, Bubba
thinks you should Google someone before bringing them in, he thinks
everything bad leads back to hornyness. Bubba thinks the new rule of
the Catholics should be that Priests and nuns should get crazy on each
other, Manson thinks the Priests would be grossed out by that, he
thinks it’s been around for hundreds of years. Bubba read about the
Pope’s number two guy, saying the abuse is linked to homosexuality, he
then read an article about possibly getting the Pope arrested, he said
he’d sign a $1,000 check, Brent sad the legal principle is correct,
Manson said he’d love to see the Pope do the purp walk. Dave said the
nuns were used as vessels, he said if they got pregnant, the baby
would be offered as a sacrifice. We then heard “Thank God I’m An Altar
boy”, they then went to commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 5 – the guys go over “Rude Boy”, various news clips

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the Pagan Potheads
Tour on April 23, then into “I Suck In Miami Bitch” from “Bubba show
Classics Vol. 12”, track 7. Bubba had no idea what the bumper music
was about, Spice thinks Bubba couldn’t be a Top 40 guy today, Bubba
got caught off guard with McDonalds, Spice joked she’s a big fan of
proper English, Bubba sad he’d love to go on stage and punch her in
the mouth, Manson said now you know why Chris Brown did what he did.
Bubba called Heather, Spice as an old guy said he’s a shock jock.
Julia came on, Bubba told her not to learn the song; Julia told
heather to not let her listen to the song anymore, Spice thinks she
was just saying that. Bubba thinks it’s very Cave Man-ish when Tyler
is on, he thinks Jabberjaw should say this stuff to some guys and see
what happens, he think she’d be raped. James in Miami said they played
that during the kids Choice Awards, he thinks she gets away with it
for having a vagina. Rob in Miami said it’s something the West Indies
do; Bubba thinks she’s a dirty talking bitch. Bubba said Charlie Crist
needs to take a page out of Miami’s book, as a group of teachers
gathered to protest bill six, we then heard a news clip about that,
Ned thinks Charlie will ride in on a white horse, the guys then goofed
on the guy saying “Don’t sign the bill”, the guys cracked up at the
cowbell, Spice wonders why they needed it, Manson joked he’s done a
180 on the bill. We then heard a news clip about some kids who got
arrested for dog fighting, Bubba said he likes the parents getting
charged, Spice as a black lady said they were just playing. Bubba
wonders why you’d spray paint a dog, Spice as a black woman said
something that Bubba cracked up at, we then heard “the Boopity song”
from “bubba show Classics Vol. 11”, track 23, we then heard the
isolation, Bubba thinks it can’t hold water to the all-time greatest
boopity, which we then heard, they then went to commercials a few
seconds later.

Segment 6 – God Hates Fags, Dan the Jehovah’s Witness

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the Guns and Hoses
event in Jacksonville this Saturday. Bubba said Shirley Felps will be
on the show this Monday, he then read an article about a guy who is
suing thank God For Dead Soldiers, as he still has flashbacks from the
day, Brent said a lot of people see the God Hates Fags people as nuts.
Bubba said look t what this war is doing to our country, Brent said
it’s out of control, Bubba said he’s had some big battles with Shirley
over the years, Brent said she’ll never believe that the bible is a
crock, Bubba said Pala white should come in, Manson thinks she’d get
roasted, Spice said it’s scary that GodHatesFags.com looks nicer than
their website. Bubba thinks if Pala can’t come in, she’d do it via the
phone, Spice said Shirley will just out loud you. Michael asked Bubba
why he’s putting her on, Bubba said he’s the first guy to cut a deal
with her, where she would get thirty minutes of airtime, he said he’s
only putting her on to prove how crazy she is, Spice told the guy that
confrontation on the radio kicks ass. Michael said the show has gone
down in the past year, he said it’s just slamming Politicians and
racing, he added that he liked racing, Bubba said he’s all about
slamming Politicians who are bible banging, he said it seems like the
Republicans get in trouble, he said they made fun of Clinton daily, he
thinks the guy is insulting his own intelligents, Manson said every
one of them were Republicans until a few years ago, Brent said it’s
not like Ragon. Michael said that Bubba always portrays obama bashers
as rednecks, Bubba said they seem like rednecks who hate blacks, he
told the guy they should be proud of our Country. Spice asked Michael
if he’ll be listening on Monday, Michael said he’ll listen regardless,
Bubba said they get paid t make people fake. Michael said nowhere n
the bible does it say that 24 hours is a day, Brent said that
explanation doesn’t work, he said the guy who wrote the bible was a
physical man. Manson said the bible is a ferry tail, he asked that
they move on. Bubba thinks you can explain Dinosaurs like this: they
were here, God didn’t like the way they looked, they died. Janet said
she’s an atheist, she hopes the church wins the lawsuit. Mike said he
met Shirley back in 1987, he said she was protesting College, Spice
wonders what the storage room is like with signs. Will in Richmond
said they sound good, he said he’s enjoying his “Bubba Wonka”. We then
heard a news clip about the police pursuit policy, Bubba didn’t get
the story. We then heard a news clip about Bob McDonald asking for
felons to write him a letter to get their voting rights restored, the
guys think he’s an idiot, Bubba thinks he’ll have some reading
material, he thinks you should’ve thought about your voting rights
before you got caught, he thinks the news in Richmond is stupid. Dan
suggested Bubba go for a Jehovah’s Witnesses, Spice wonders why they
have such a bad rap, Brent thinks heaven is already full, as they
believe 144,000 people are going to Heaven, Spice said he’s not going
to go with it, as he thinks he can’t get in. Brent said they’re very
anti woman, Dan said in marriage, the woman is honored. Bubba asked
him if their into kid touching, Dan said it’s happened, but not in
America, Bubba said the guy is saying he won’t die. Spice thinks they
should get a street barker to debate Shirley, Dan said he’s getting
married in July, Manson thinks the guy could only meet a girl on the
internet. Spice wonders if they believe in plastic surgery, Dan said
he’s not sure, he said the bible doesn’t’ mention Dinosaurs. Dan said
when he dies, he could be resurrected, Dan thinks he could live during
Armageddon, Bubba told him to think about what he’s saying, he told
him to use some common sense, Spice as Butt-head said God is making
his kingdom in Lego land. Bubba thinks Religion is only provable by
death, he said it’ll either prove or disprove. Brent asked him if he
goes to a doctor when he’s sick, Dan said yes, he said that the only
thing he refuses is blood transfusions; Spice said he doesn’t want to
give blood, but he’ll take it. Bubba thinks it’s disturbing that the
bible has two testaments, Dan said it’s worded differently, he said
the Koran isn’t a bible. Bubba asked how every other Religion is fine
with blood transfusions, but this one does. Dan said Jehovah’s
Witnesses don’t pass around a collection plate, he said you can donate
if you’d like to. Bubba told him to be a part of the Bubba Religion,
be a good person, he said life is like a ball game, when time has
expired, it’s over. Ned said he’s looking for overtime, Bubba said
Terry Schiavo hade that, they then went to commercials a few seconds

Segment 7 – Tucker Carlson

Coming out of commercials, we heard a pormo for free downloads when
you sign up for the BTLS Newsletter, then into “Jesus VS Allah” from
“Bubba Show Classics Vol. 6”, track 10. The bit is an advertisement
for “WWEs Holy War 1”, and features Jesus and Allah, with Hogan
representing Jesus, and Macho Man representing Allah. We then heard
Tucker Carlson’s bumper, Tucker said he got the coolest bowling shirt
ever, he said it’s the coolest thing he’s gotten, Bubba told him he
has six stars, Tucker said he’s a three star, Brent said tucker is
Colonel, he said he’ll be doing a Fox program at 9:30, he said hannity
is a great guy. Bubba said he’s a little concerned with his charity,
Tucker said he doesn’t’ have one, Brent said the stuff that was
uncovered is frightening. Tucker said he’s never met Palin, Brent said
they both work for fox, Tucker said he’s heard Palin is a lot like
Jessica Simpson. Bubba said someone he knows said Palin is really good
looking in person, Tucker said even Allick Baldwin said she looks hot.
Bubba said Hilary isn’t looking so good, Manson as Clinton said she
always looked bad, he thinks Jennifer flowers is pretty hot. Tucker
said he ran into her, he said she had a jar of business cards from her
husband’s realistate. Spice wonders if she has a lot of fame, Tucker
said this happened about three or four years ago, he said he’s never
been to the villages, the guys think ned should live in a retirement
home, Tucker sad men die early as they work hard, Brent dared him to
ask someone, he said if he lived in Florida, he wouldn’t work, he said
he was fishing, a guy told him about the Tampa people, saying all the
women are hookers. Bubba told him you can’t hear the show in the Pan
Handle, Tucker said he’s dropped Bubba’s name. Brent said John McCaine
was about getting them off the radio, Tucker said his kids rarely
watch TV, Bubba said the worst thing they had was George Jetson
looking for crack in the hood (Scooby Do and shaggy were into that,
George Jetson had a spacely Sprocket Cockring. This bit appears on
“bubba show classics Vol. 9”, track 13). We then heard “rude boy”,
Bubba stopped and started the song to translate, Tucker said it’s
disgusting, he said he doesn’t want his kids to listen to that crap,
he said it’s “Techno Garbage”, he said at least the George Jetson
stuff was funny, he said he put on channels 43 and 7, Manson thinks
the Grateful Dead is just three guys dicking around in a garage.
Tucker said some guys were protected by body guards, Brent said he
loves general Jones. Bubba said he doesn’t want to have a tax
liability, he said his accountant called him on Friday, he said he has
to pay one hundred six thousand dollars by Thursday, he thinks we
should do the Neil Boortz fare tax, Tucker said Bubba has pissed him
off by talking about that stuff, he said he’ll be bragging. Captain
Janks in Philly said the Hogan show was great last night, Bubba said
it’s a work in progress, Janks said Howard liked it, Bubba thinks
Hogan needs a traffic cop, he said he can’t say some stuff, Janks
guessed Larry David, Brent said Larry is cool. Rex said he’s a FTE, he
said he listens every day, he said Hogan did a great job; Bubba said
Hogan knew it was difficult. Spice said Hogan is used to cutting sort
promos; they then went to commercials a few seconds later.

Segment 8 – Bubba Ray Dudley has heat with Bubba

Coming out of commercials, we heard a promo for the Pagan Potheads
tour on April 23. Bubba thinks Jabberjaw wants to go back to FLZ with
her bumper music selection, he then said some kid was found, he thinks
it would be cool if a parent was to thank the search parties. Adam
asked where Hogan met Jennifer, the guys aren’t sure if even Hogan
knows that one, he then said he was surprised to not see Bubba get the
shit kicked out of him on TNA, he said it’s turned into a drinking
game. Bubba called up Hogan, only to get sent to voicemail. He dialed
again, but got the same results. Christian came on, he said he’d like
a chance to debate the God hates Fags people, he said they have a
church, next Level Church in Tarpon Springs, he said he’s been doing
this for sixteen years. Spice asked him if he could hang with her,
Christian said yes, he said their stance is backwards, Bubba said he
wants to put her in her place. Bubba said that Bubba Ray Dudley was
on, he said he’s not sure where the call will go, he said he
distracted him and kicked him in the chest during a match. Bubba
Dudley was on, he thinks Bubba has lost his mind; Spice said the
bloated tick got him. Dudley said recently, they patched things up,
then for no reason, Bubba stuck his nose in one of his matches. Bubba
said he’s right on that, he said Waldman is ready to kick Dudley’s
ass, Dudley said Bubba has to choose sides between the Hogan and the
band, he told him if he sees him, he’s going to beat the crap out of
him, Bubba said he believes him, he said he feels bad for kicking
Dudley, he thinks he’s not sure if he’s supposed to say sorry or not,
Dudley thinks Bubba’s relationship with Hogan is at an end. Bubba said
that he didn’t recognize the number, Dudley said he was having a great
match, he said the last thing he expected was to go to the ring, Bubba
said he was wrong for kicking him, he said he’s freaked out at the
moment, he thinks the guys ribbed him to get out there, he said he
shouldn’t have done that, he said he’s screwed. Dudley told Bubba to
man up one day, Spice said he wanted to make sure that Bubba Dudley is
a telephone tough guy, Bubba told Spice that he doesn’t want to do
that. Dudley said what bubba did was disrespectful, telling him
whatever happens to him, is on him, he said he’s receating him double,
he told him to be careful. Bubba said he’s sorry, Dudley hung up a few
seconds later, Spice thinks the next guy was in line for the pay
phone. Bubba told Spice that he doesn’t want to mess with him, he then
recapped what happened in the match, saying Waldman dried humped
Dudley’s face, he said after he kicked him, Dudley told him it would
come back to haunt him, he thinks he should just stay home, he asked
Spice if he knew that was hanging over him, Spice said he’d do it, Ned
said he’s got a shot gun. Bubba said he always thought the guy didn’t
like him, Spice thinks Bubba is the first guy to get his ass kicked by
everyone at TNA in about thirty days, he then saw a picture of Lady
Gaga, he decided to quit TNA, Spice called him a pansy, they then
ended the show a few seconds later.

3 Responses

  1. DirtonaBeach

    You need the guys to sing this with the SpongeBob theme song in the background.

    Are you ready TNA?
    Oh ya Hogan.
    I can’t hear you…
    Hell ya Hogan!
    Oh! Who lives in Tampa next to the sea?
    Bub-ba the love sponge!
    Fat ass and yella what a pussy he be!
    Bub-ba the love sponge!
    Kicked Bubba Ray Dudley and now he is pissed…
    Bub-ba the love sponge!
    So he dropped to his knees and quit like a bitch!
    Bub-ba the love sponge!
    Bub-ba the love sponge! Bub-ba the love sponge! Bub-ba the love sponge!
    Bub-ba…. the love sponge! Haha.

  2. Jon D


    just wondering where i could find the thank god im an altar boy paraody. its f’ng hilarious. thanks


  3. Mariah H

    I also want to hear again the Thank God Im an Altar Boy
    it was one of the funniest things ive hear although at first it shocked me but shocked me in the way of OMG i cant believe im hearing this
    now i want to share it with others

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